Monday Quote.

Pride 2011.

  

 This will be my first time going to see the NYC Pride Parade since I've lived here, and I am very excited, given all of the historic things that have happened over the past year in our country and in my home state of New York. I guess I'm just happy for my friends- so many of them who are gay and in happy, healthy, loving relationships with their partners, and who have been some of the best friends I've had in my life. No matter what you think in terms of politics or religion, that's alright. I'm not here to fight with people over what is wrong or right. Everyone experiences their life from a different set of lenses, and goes through different experiences that lead them to their own set of morals, values, opinions and belief systems, and I can't be upset or argue or try to fight that. The only thing that upsets me is those people who turn to violence and hate in order to express their beliefs/views. The experiences in my life have led me to my own view, and I feel that everyone deserves the opportunity to be with the person that they love. Whatever I can do to support the right for a person, regardless of race, religion, political viewpoint or any other 'difference' that may come up, to be with the one they want to be with- I will do. Who am I to judge? Why is it any of my business anyway who you go home to at night? I just keep thinking that had I been born in the 1940s or 50s, it would have been illegal for me to marry or even date a white man, which is what I'm doing now. I would have been treated the same way as my friends and unable to follow my heart's desire. I can't help who I've fallen in love with. I'm blessed that today this is no longer an issue of legality (although I've felt my share of stares all around the country as E. and I have walked down the streets) and I can be with anyone I want to be with. So why would I try to prevent someone else from the same.

Love. Love one another as you would love yourself. Do unto others as you would yourself. That's really what it comes down to.

Empire State Building, NYC.

Alice Smith @ The Highline Ballroom.

I had to post about this. E. got us tix to see Alice Smith, an amazing singer who has not gotten the mainstream attention she deserves. Her voice is RIDICULOUS, and she's just amazing. L. introduced me to her way back in 2007 when she dropped her first album and let's just say I played it out. She has yet to release a sophomore effort, but she went through issues with her record deal, and now is on a new label and hopefully will be releasing something this year. Last night was incredible. It's another one of those times where I'm watching someone and I KNOW that I could be doing what they're doing, and am then reminded of how badly I want that. And the fire keeps burning inside of me, and I'm keeping my dream alive. I'll leave you with a YouTube clip of her, and a pic from last night.

Alice Smith 6.23.11 Highline.

Quote for the week.

Recharge.

I've been home for the past week now and I am realizing that as much as I may say otherwise, I enjoy being home. It's become a place where I can go to recharge. To get rid of all the emotional/spiritual/physical junk that I've accumulated over the past few months. It's like detox! It's very quiet here, and I can spend a lot of time on my own, reading, writing, and figuring things out. Not to say that I can't do that in NYC- but c'mon! It's New York! The city that never sleeps. I think that when I'm back in Astoria I'm going to try to start doing the things I keep telling myself that I'm going to do, but never do, mainly because traveling back and forth to work has kind of sucked the soul out of me. But now that I'm in the last week of this job, I know that a mini vacation is right around the corner, which equals more free time. Another good thing- as of next Thursday, I plan to never return to substitute teaching in NJ. Done with that phase. Moving on. I have a summer job lined up, where I'll be making more money and generally having more fun, and then it's time to get ready for the BUDDY contract. A huge step and another huge challenge for me.

I've been reading a lot lately, and the thing that keeps popping out to me is that we are able to create the life we want. So many times we tell ourselves stories, without realizing that these stories are outdated. They are from our past and most of the time don't really reflect who we are right now, in the present moment. Maybe we tell ourselves these stories because they are comfortable, and who would we be without them? That's the scary part. But if you want to grow, to change, to mature and move forward, you have to be willing to embrace new stories about yourself. Especially if the stories that we're telling are negative. No longer are you that person who can't do this, will never do that. If you want to now, what's holding you back? You. I know that at the end of my time here on this earth, I want to know that I've taken the journey and lived as full of a life that I could, and that I pursued my dreams, and that I wasn't afraid to step out of my own idea of myself and discover new things.

Quote for the Week.

The Future....

I have booked my first EQUITY show! 

More details to come as soon as I see my contract!

These are words that I wrote in this blog about one year ago...

I hope that a year from today, the negative behaviors that I've struggled with for years will finally be a thing that is in the past. I want to be in a place where I'm auditioning, hopefully I've booked the next job, and have settled comfortably in my new apartment with E. I hope that I will have gained a stronger connection to my spirit, and a confidence that has seemed to elude me for so long. I also want to incorporate some new things into my life: a regular yoga practice, more journaling, spending more time in nature, finding new hobbies, and taking more risks with my career.

 Well, I can definitely say that I've taken steps towards all of these goals. Have I perfected and reached each and every one? No, but it's nice to be able to look back and remind  myself of the things that I still want in my  life, and to keep striving towards these things. I think what I'm learning is that everything takes time- Rome wasn't built in a day (to use a cheesy quote)- and it's true.

Quote for the week.