'Release'

After spending the last few weeks reading blogs that covered everything from my friend's lives to bikram yoga, I recently stumbled upon a blog by a woman named Christine Kane. In one of her articles, she talks about setting one word as an intention for your whole year. It was supposed to be an alternative to the New Year's resolutions that people make every year that they usually don't follow through on. Given that I feel like I am starting a brand new year, a year in which Jesus Christ Superstar will not be on the horizon, I'm going to try to set my intention for the next year of my life without it.

Here's a little of what she says about intention and choosing a word:

What I’ve learned from putting this ritual into practice is that Intention — even in the form of a single word — is unfathomably powerful. Resolutions are fine, but they are often motivated by “shoulds.” As such, they remain trapped in the “Should Realm” — in our heads.

A word, however, contains energy, images and meaning. These are things our hearts and souls get excited about. And this is how transformation begins. Rarely does deep transformation happen because of “Shoulds.”


If I tried to embrace this word, I would start to cultivate a feeling of peace, and by releasing my hold on things that either don't fit into my life anymore, or are finished, I would feel more confident to try the things that I've been keeping in my mind for quite a while. As much as I've lived in an environment in which change is a huge part (changing hotels, changing cities, changing cast members), this time is different because that environment that I've lived with is gone. So now there is a huge empty space that I have to fill, and I don't want to be afraid of that emptiness. If I'm afraid, then I'm going to cling to the past, and cling to those behaviors that don't fit into this new part of my life.

I hope that a year from today, the negative behaviors that I've struggled with for years will finally be a thing that is in the past. I want to be in a place where I'm auditioning, hopefully I've booked the next job, and have settled comfortably in my new apartment with E. I hope that I will have gained a stronger connection to my spirit, and a confidence that has seemed to elude me for so long. I also want to incorporate some new things into my life: a regular yoga practice, more journaling, spending more time in nature, finding new hobbies, and taking more risks with my career.

sailing in Florida 2009

So here's to releasing my hold on the past, embracing the emptiness, and allowing it to fill up with bigger and better things.